Congruent desires are shameless, fearless, and guiltless. If you attach any shame, fear, or guilt to your desires, you’re simply pushing them away.
A good way to test if your desires are congruent is to consider posting them publicly, where everyone in your life can see them. Whatever desires you can’t post publicly, you’re repelling.
If you experience any fear, guilt, shame, worry, etc. over posting one of your desires in public (like on your Facebook page), then you’re stopping yourself from welcoming that desire into your life.
Many people try to amplify the intensity of their desires, believing that will make the desires manifest sooner. If I can only get myself to want it badly enough, maybe it will show up sooner, they think. But significantly faster progress can be made by releasing resistance to your desires. Then even underpowered desires can show up quickly.
If you’d like to have a threesome, for instance, then post on your Facebook page, “I would really love to have a threesome.” Can you do that with relative ease? Or do you feel a twinge of fear at the very thought of it? What’s to be afraid of? After all, if you were already enjoying an abundance of threesomes in your life, and the people around you knew about it and accepted it, it wouldn’t really be a big deal to anyone. It would just be your normal, everyday reality. So why stop yourself from sliding into that reality now? Why wait?
If you get some critical feedback, use the subjective lens to interpret it. See the feedback as coming from a part of you, and know that all resistance is internal resistance. Dialog with the critics if you like, and try to understand their point of view. See if you actually believe their arguments, or if you find their reasoning hollow and meaningless.
Suppose someone replies to your desire, “That’s creepy” or “You just want to use people.” Then you can ask, “What’s creepy about sharing love with two willing partners?” and “How is that using people if we all agree to have that experience together?” If you find that the criticism has no truth to it, you can let it go, and you’ll feel even more congruent with your desire.
On the other hand, if the criticism starts to get to you, then you can use it to help further your exploration. Maybe deep down you’re concerned that your desire might conflict with your values on some level. This gives you the opportunity to re-assess your values and to figure out what’s true for you. This is a very helpful process, as it helps you elevate your values to a more conscious level, pulling them out of the muck of social conditioning.
Fear, shame, guilt, and worrying about what other people might think are all forms of resistance. When you wallow in such feelings, you say to the universe, “I’m not ready to receive this desire, so please don’t let it come through now.” And the universe will hold your desire away from your present reality. You’re blocking it from arriving.
Once you let go of these forms of resistance, what remains is a sense of welcoming. You invite the desire with a feeling of readiness to receive it now.
In addition to that feeling of welcoming, you’ll also experience a feeling of acceptance. You’ll accept your desire and all its consequences. So your friends may poke fun at you for being into threesomes. So your family may think it’s weird. But then you’ll also have people inviting you to have threesomes since they’ll know you like that sort of thing, and that isn’t so bad when you can enjoy some really nice invites. You’ll also make new friends who can readily accept and relate to this part of you.
Getting there may seem like a big deal. Being there seldom is.
I’m not suggesting you have to post all of your desires publicly, but I am suggesting that if you can’t do that, you’re most certainly putting out a repulsive vibe that’s counteracting your desires, slowing them down at best, stopping them most likely.
What desires can’t you post publicly? What are you hiding from your boss, your family, your friends, etc? Could you simply stop hiding? Could you see the opportunity to share your desires publicly as a chance to get past your needless worries, to let people see the real you, and to truly welcome your desire now?
What is the more mature and conscious approach here? To hide what you’re into? To pretend you don’t want it? To silently worry about what others might think of you if they discovered your dark secrets? Or to shamelessly, fearlessly, and guiltlessly welcome your desires into your life now?
Would you rather want your desire and not have it… or just have it?
Let me tell you that life is much better on the other side — the side of having. Once that fear, shame, and guilt have been released, the having part is easy. On this side you will find love, joy, happiness, appreciation, and gratitude. You’ll connect with your desires in a much deeper way, and you’ll realize that they were good and positive desires all along, just waiting for you to come into full alignment with them.
Give yourself the gift of truly owning your desires. Whatever it is that you want to experience next, allow yourself to truly welcome it. It doesn’t matter if other people agree or disagree. It doesn’t matter if your desire is mainstream or fringe. It doesn’t matter if it’s new to you, and you’re not sure if you’d really like it. You can always change your mind later.
Given the choice between resisting some of the most beautiful opportunities and connections of your life due to shame, fear, guilt, and worries over what others might think… vs. welcoming and experiencing them with an open heart, which path will you choose to experience now?
Wednesday, June 19, 2019
Thursday, May 2, 2019
Please don't Interrupt
Did you know that a task that’s interrupted takes 50% longer and has 50% more mistakes than an uninterrupted one?
It takes a while for our brains to get into a focused state where we’re able to concentrate fully on a task without feeling distracted. Once we’re in that state, we can enjoy a very productive flow, as long as we don’t get interrupted.
A focused mind is still sensitive to disruption from external input. Interruptions — i.e. switching to a different, largely unrelated set of thought patterns — erase and scramble much of your previously loaded and nicely optimized brain state. And frequent interruptions can prevent you from ever fully entering that state of flow.
When you interrupt someone, on average it takes them 23 minutes to get back to the original task, plus up to 30 minutes to return to the flow state so they can be fully productive again. Almost half of the time you interrupt someone, you’ll actually knock them off task completely, such that they won’t return to the original task right away when the interruption ends. You may think you’re only putting them on pause for a minute or two, but the actual break from the task that results from your interruption may be significantly longer.
About 80% of the time when a task is interrupted, the person will return to it that same day, but roughly 1 out of every 5 times you interrupt someone, you’ll actually cause them to stop all work on that task for the entire day.
Have you ever been briefly interrupted by someone, only to extend that interruption by concluding that since you’ve already paused working, you might as well go to the bathroom now, check email, have lunch, etc? How many times has a quick question turned into a lengthy conversation? These are common experiences, especially among knowledge workers. A seemingly minor interruption can derail your focus so much that it takes hours to get back to the original task, if you even get back to it that day.
Frequent task switching has also been measured to significantly increase stress levels vs. single handling. So interrupting others not only hurts their productivity, but it may also damage their health.
Interruptions are expensive too. One estimate puts the cost of workplace interruptions at $588 billion per year in lost productivity for the U.S. economy. This is probably a gross underestimate though since it’s only based on wasted hours multiplied by average wages. It doesn’t consider the rippling consequences of these interruptions, including missed opportunities, lost sales, layoffs, businesses going under, reduced investments, costly mistakes, more sick days due to increased stress, etc. Interruptions mean that some books are never finished, some businesses are never launched, and some ideas are doomed to die on the vine.
The next time you think about interrupting someone who’s productively working on a task that’s important to them, consider that your seemingly innocent question or comment may create serious consequences for them, including adding more work to their plate, increasing their stress, causing mistakes, creating delays, and potentially killing the task completely. Even a brief interruption of a complex task can create the cognitive equivalent of an hour of extra work.
Highly productive people know the importance of working in uninterrupted blocks of time with good focus and concentration. Consequently, they take steps to guard against interruption, such as by wearing headphones to discourage trivial conversation (even if no audio is playing), by closing their office doors, by cautioning others not to interrupt them unless absolutely necessary, by letting people know when it’s okay vs. not okay to chat with them, by working in different locations, by turning off phones and notification services, or by working different hours.
Many programmers, for instance, love to work late at night. One reason is that they’re less likely to be interrupted while everyone else is sleeping, so their nighttime work can be more productive. Online activity (email, social media, etc) also tends to drop off significantly late at night.
Being social is fine. But if someone is actively working, let them keep working. You can talk to them when they’re done.
If you have issues with other people interrupting you more than you’d like, ask them to use the following rule of thumb (or any other guideline that satisfies you):
When I’m busy working, please don’t interrupt me unless what you have to share is so urgent and important that it’s worth erasing all the work I’ve done in the past hour.
It takes a while for our brains to get into a focused state where we’re able to concentrate fully on a task without feeling distracted. Once we’re in that state, we can enjoy a very productive flow, as long as we don’t get interrupted.
A focused mind is still sensitive to disruption from external input. Interruptions — i.e. switching to a different, largely unrelated set of thought patterns — erase and scramble much of your previously loaded and nicely optimized brain state. And frequent interruptions can prevent you from ever fully entering that state of flow.
When you interrupt someone, on average it takes them 23 minutes to get back to the original task, plus up to 30 minutes to return to the flow state so they can be fully productive again. Almost half of the time you interrupt someone, you’ll actually knock them off task completely, such that they won’t return to the original task right away when the interruption ends. You may think you’re only putting them on pause for a minute or two, but the actual break from the task that results from your interruption may be significantly longer.
About 80% of the time when a task is interrupted, the person will return to it that same day, but roughly 1 out of every 5 times you interrupt someone, you’ll actually cause them to stop all work on that task for the entire day.
Have you ever been briefly interrupted by someone, only to extend that interruption by concluding that since you’ve already paused working, you might as well go to the bathroom now, check email, have lunch, etc? How many times has a quick question turned into a lengthy conversation? These are common experiences, especially among knowledge workers. A seemingly minor interruption can derail your focus so much that it takes hours to get back to the original task, if you even get back to it that day.
Frequent task switching has also been measured to significantly increase stress levels vs. single handling. So interrupting others not only hurts their productivity, but it may also damage their health.
Interruptions are expensive too. One estimate puts the cost of workplace interruptions at $588 billion per year in lost productivity for the U.S. economy. This is probably a gross underestimate though since it’s only based on wasted hours multiplied by average wages. It doesn’t consider the rippling consequences of these interruptions, including missed opportunities, lost sales, layoffs, businesses going under, reduced investments, costly mistakes, more sick days due to increased stress, etc. Interruptions mean that some books are never finished, some businesses are never launched, and some ideas are doomed to die on the vine.
The next time you think about interrupting someone who’s productively working on a task that’s important to them, consider that your seemingly innocent question or comment may create serious consequences for them, including adding more work to their plate, increasing their stress, causing mistakes, creating delays, and potentially killing the task completely. Even a brief interruption of a complex task can create the cognitive equivalent of an hour of extra work.
Highly productive people know the importance of working in uninterrupted blocks of time with good focus and concentration. Consequently, they take steps to guard against interruption, such as by wearing headphones to discourage trivial conversation (even if no audio is playing), by closing their office doors, by cautioning others not to interrupt them unless absolutely necessary, by letting people know when it’s okay vs. not okay to chat with them, by working in different locations, by turning off phones and notification services, or by working different hours.
Many programmers, for instance, love to work late at night. One reason is that they’re less likely to be interrupted while everyone else is sleeping, so their nighttime work can be more productive. Online activity (email, social media, etc) also tends to drop off significantly late at night.
Being social is fine. But if someone is actively working, let them keep working. You can talk to them when they’re done.
If you have issues with other people interrupting you more than you’d like, ask them to use the following rule of thumb (or any other guideline that satisfies you):
When I’m busy working, please don’t interrupt me unless what you have to share is so urgent and important that it’s worth erasing all the work I’ve done in the past hour.
The True Religion.
Religion is a strong belief of the people in a supernatural diety and their ideological mindset. We all have collections of beliefs that guide and control our life. Those facts that influence and dominate our minds and control our life in a massive way are our belief systems.. Religion is so much important because; your belief about life determine what result you get in life. You get what you invest or contribute either intentiinally or otherwise. No one can rise above his belief about life. Your imaginations determine your results in life. Belief determines what's possible for you and what's not..There is no one without the facts of what is and what is not. There is no one without the conviction of what exists and what doesn't exist. We need a one, true religion that proclaims love for God and humanity undiluted.
People have struggled to prove a certain religion right or wrong and still do. The war religion has created is an endless one. I don't think humans can stop the stigmatization and hatred religion had brought upon us all.Majority of us have the strong conviction that there exist one or more supreme diety who control the universe, decide our fate, destiny, and our heart in some ways, especially to the degree that we accept the truth. And a Devil, that initiate all the evil in the world. My intention is to specify what religion is right for our progressive existence and those that inhibit our growth tremendously. We are born to coexist with mutual love and assistance towards one another. Any religion that breeds hatred and violence is misleading or wrongly accepted. What I discover in some religion is that; the deeper you become in that belief, the more intolerant you become to other people who hold a different belief system. Life should not be partial, especially to those who claim closer to the one, true God.
The true religion is a religion that shows love for humanity. Love is the way to the heart of all men. If you show divine love, inspite of what discouragement you get from people, there is a long time reward for it. The universe will recognize your good deeds and multiply your investment. Your results will be fantastic in everything you do. The true religion is the religion of love and you need to find that religion that makes you feel satisfied inside out. Just look around you, find a life that you know will serve you well right now and afterlife. Try to imagine what your end will look like if you follow the wrong path in a life that you may not have the chance to live again. You need to think deeply about your journey from the higher life to a lower life of temptation and accomplishment. Our entire life is a journey of return. We need to spend our lifetime well enough. We are not created an experimental being at all, for our creation for experiment will make no sense whatsoever.
All true religion must practice care, concern and sympathy not only for its followers but for the common good of all. The core belief of a true religion is love and tolerance for everyone, upbuilding of humanity and mutual understanding. Our life depend on the type of character we posses. What would you do if you know your life depend on your actions? Then do it now because it do. Religion is not what you choose blindly, you must understand it to a considerable extent. By Amusan_Smart..
**Facebook: Amusan Zaccheaus Mayowa.
*Whatapp: +234708 815 3371
People have struggled to prove a certain religion right or wrong and still do. The war religion has created is an endless one. I don't think humans can stop the stigmatization and hatred religion had brought upon us all.Majority of us have the strong conviction that there exist one or more supreme diety who control the universe, decide our fate, destiny, and our heart in some ways, especially to the degree that we accept the truth. And a Devil, that initiate all the evil in the world. My intention is to specify what religion is right for our progressive existence and those that inhibit our growth tremendously. We are born to coexist with mutual love and assistance towards one another. Any religion that breeds hatred and violence is misleading or wrongly accepted. What I discover in some religion is that; the deeper you become in that belief, the more intolerant you become to other people who hold a different belief system. Life should not be partial, especially to those who claim closer to the one, true God.
The true religion is a religion that shows love for humanity. Love is the way to the heart of all men. If you show divine love, inspite of what discouragement you get from people, there is a long time reward for it. The universe will recognize your good deeds and multiply your investment. Your results will be fantastic in everything you do. The true religion is the religion of love and you need to find that religion that makes you feel satisfied inside out. Just look around you, find a life that you know will serve you well right now and afterlife. Try to imagine what your end will look like if you follow the wrong path in a life that you may not have the chance to live again. You need to think deeply about your journey from the higher life to a lower life of temptation and accomplishment. Our entire life is a journey of return. We need to spend our lifetime well enough. We are not created an experimental being at all, for our creation for experiment will make no sense whatsoever.
All true religion must practice care, concern and sympathy not only for its followers but for the common good of all. The core belief of a true religion is love and tolerance for everyone, upbuilding of humanity and mutual understanding. Our life depend on the type of character we posses. What would you do if you know your life depend on your actions? Then do it now because it do. Religion is not what you choose blindly, you must understand it to a considerable extent. By Amusan_Smart..
**Facebook: Amusan Zaccheaus Mayowa.
*Whatapp: +234708 815 3371
Friday, April 12, 2019
How to Live Life.
Life is unpredictable. You never know what to expect or get most of the time. Life just bring your way what you anticipate and what you don't expect. Doing things right is the key to a successful life. How should you live your life. I have so much experience with people and how most people mess their life up by unnecessary worries and actions. You can reclaim the life of bliss and fulfilment you are born to live back by these brainless strategy and God will recognize your effort and repay you for what you say you want by your deeds.
1. Be Courageous: No one can live a good life without courage. You have to make a firm decision most of the time and be audacious enough to work towards. You must be decisive to actualize anything. You need courage to live and that is why we grow everyday. We gain more experience everyday to deal with every challenge that comes out way. We need courage to face life's storms and challenges and to decide what we want and never give up except when we need to. There is no life transforming decision that doesn't require taking a bold step or the heart of a lion. If you want the woman 👩 of your dreams or the project you have always wanted to work on, you need to act with boldness and eliminate fear or anything that comes your way.
Quick Overview of Life.
You must give a meaning to your life. Life itself is a freewill and reality itself and it's passionately waiting for you to give a meaning to it yourself.. Life is not a dream, it's not an illusion, it's a real existence. No one can determine your life as much as yourself. You are the architect of your life. That is why all your dreams are possible if you are ready to follow through on them. There is nothing imaginable that cannot be actualized. This is not an overstatement, it's true. If you do not give a meaning to your life. Fate or nature will give to you anything including what you hate the most. The only way to make your life meaningful is to start by experimenting and knowing what the society perceived as the best possible life and always desire more out of life. You must live above average and do the impossible to make impact. You must have a burning desire to make life more promising, fufilling and comfortable for yourself and the people that you know.
Whosoever gives all he can give to get the best in life ultimately find a wonderful life most genius cannot find because they settle for less. You need to know that, there is a life out there that's better than the life you are currently living. You need to find out.... That life of fulfilment and actualization is your best life.
You can find the best life by studying people you think are living life to the fullest and seeing what they have to deal with. It is looking for a life where you do not have to be in financial, marital, spiritual, or societal bondage. Freedom is a choice and only the courageous make the choice.... The coward settle for less and pretend it's the best life. Most people rely on job security that make them sick. Most people we see as successful people are not really so because they have more debts than any organisation in the world.. We usually measure success by the new luxury car or a new apartment. That's not success. Success is the actualization of the security of the future of anyone or organisation beyond threats of debts or fear of recession. Success is having what to lean on without having to depend on uncertainties for survival. Success is having your assets, money, information, people work for you while you go on vacation anytime of the year. This can be guaranteed by establishing your own firm, investing in real estates, lands or having a solid partnership agreements with businesses that can never collapse even when the whole economy collapse. True Success isn't measured by high sales or new company project, it's the security of the future of the company against any natural or man-induced disaster. You must secure your continued flourishment to ensure your success is genuine. Life is not a fairy tale, it's real.... Every individual need a financial, societal and economic foundation that's so strong that storms of life may not pull down. Turning to spirituality maybe the answer but God will always point the direction of our life to us even before we inquire. We are just too led astray by immediate satisfaction of our desires.
Life is best lived when you have near absolute freedom of expression, time, and choice. When nothing can hold you down. Staying free of addiction and grudges, and sour relationship. You cannot live well if anything still trap you down..... Do not be too lazy to invest your time, energy and resources in reasonable people, projects and organisation. Life is not free, you have to work for everything, including grace sometimes... If you want anything to work for you, you have to work for it... A caring husband will someday attract a loving wife.
Amusan Zaccheaus Smart
Whosoever gives all he can give to get the best in life ultimately find a wonderful life most genius cannot find because they settle for less. You need to know that, there is a life out there that's better than the life you are currently living. You need to find out.... That life of fulfilment and actualization is your best life.
You can find the best life by studying people you think are living life to the fullest and seeing what they have to deal with. It is looking for a life where you do not have to be in financial, marital, spiritual, or societal bondage. Freedom is a choice and only the courageous make the choice.... The coward settle for less and pretend it's the best life. Most people rely on job security that make them sick. Most people we see as successful people are not really so because they have more debts than any organisation in the world.. We usually measure success by the new luxury car or a new apartment. That's not success. Success is the actualization of the security of the future of anyone or organisation beyond threats of debts or fear of recession. Success is having what to lean on without having to depend on uncertainties for survival. Success is having your assets, money, information, people work for you while you go on vacation anytime of the year. This can be guaranteed by establishing your own firm, investing in real estates, lands or having a solid partnership agreements with businesses that can never collapse even when the whole economy collapse. True Success isn't measured by high sales or new company project, it's the security of the future of the company against any natural or man-induced disaster. You must secure your continued flourishment to ensure your success is genuine. Life is not a fairy tale, it's real.... Every individual need a financial, societal and economic foundation that's so strong that storms of life may not pull down. Turning to spirituality maybe the answer but God will always point the direction of our life to us even before we inquire. We are just too led astray by immediate satisfaction of our desires.
Life is best lived when you have near absolute freedom of expression, time, and choice. When nothing can hold you down. Staying free of addiction and grudges, and sour relationship. You cannot live well if anything still trap you down..... Do not be too lazy to invest your time, energy and resources in reasonable people, projects and organisation. Life is not free, you have to work for everything, including grace sometimes... If you want anything to work for you, you have to work for it... A caring husband will someday attract a loving wife.
Amusan Zaccheaus Smart
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